This is another installment in the series entitled Things to Be Learned From Dead People.
I didn’t personally know my maternal grandfather, Joel Daniel “Daniel” MARTIN (1886-1955). He passed before I was born, but my mother (his daughter) talked about him often. My grandma (his widow) talked about him sometimes, too, but I think talking about him was hard on her feelings. I get that, being a widow myself.
Your Handshake is Your Word
According to my mom and her siblings, Daniel believed that a man’s handshake was his word. It surely was for him.
He valued honesty in himself and others, and he seemed to have little tolerance for liars.
Daniel had a strong memory, too, and even many years later he would show annoyance when remembering someone who had given their word, and a handshake, and then reneged on it.
A Godly Man
Daniel was a godly man and did his best to live a life pleasing to God. And that included being honest with people in word and deed. (Exodus 20:16, Proverbs 6:16-19, and Matthew 5:37 are some Bible verses that address lying and honesty).
Other people saw Daniel’s honesty, too, especially in his work as a tenant farmer. I have letters of recommendation he was given by former employers. They say the following about Daniel:
- honest in all his dealings
- dependable and industrious
- honest and hard working
- will make any employer a worthy employee
- very honest and willing worker
- one of the very best hands ever on this place
- honest and reliable in every respect
Daniel was known for saying: A liar is worse than a thief; you can lock up a thief, but you can’t lock up a liar.
This made no sense to me as a child. Of course you could lock up a liar. Put them in a cell and turn the key.
But eventually, ‘life’ made that saying make sense.
When I first heard it, I hadn’t yet been betrayed by a friend who shared a secret with others that she said she’d keep OR had a boyfriend who lied to me over and over again OR had a co-worker throw me under the bus to save themselves when push came to shove.
It Didn’t Start with Daniel
The idea of a liar being worse than a thief didn’t originate with Daniel, not did the second part of this saying. Yet by him repeating it often, it was always associated with him in the minds and consciences of his children and beyond.
Daniel was a gracious man, though, so I think if someone lied to him, he would forgive if they came clean and apologized. Chronic liars and liars who didn’t apologize…well, not so much.
I expect Daniel didn’t have any tolerance for thievery either, but lying seemed to really get under his skin. And I get that…because you can’t lock up a liar.
How about you? Did your parents or grandparents repeat a saying often like my grandfather did with his family?
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My Hendrix grandparents (our common relations) both died before I was born. But I knew my Spainhour grandparents very well. They were the most honest trustworthy folks you could imagine.
That’s wonderful. I’m sure you have treasured memories of them. 🙂 Thanks for commenting.